I've been keeping an anonymous blog to write about those dark days in my life, not wanting anyone to be able to connect 'it was me' writing. I have to be perfect, can't admit to having bad days because of the stigma. I'm supposed to be cured, but depression is a disease and though I go days, weeks and longer in remission things happen to throw me out of remission. I don't want anyone knowing that, but it is so hard to only be able to share that with my therapist and even then I don't like her knowing it either. Especially the darkest days.
But, part of my frustration now is that I haven't been able to 'find' or access that blog so ....then computer problems with anger me, a doctor who hasn't gotten back to me in a week re: test results etc. Reminds me of a song, "Does anybody care, is anybody listening..." Those who I'm supposed to talk to I no longer trust, those I wish I could tell would think less of me so the loneliness deepens.
Oh, to heck with it...this too shall pass.
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