Maybe my doctor is right after all. No matter how hard I fight it to prove him wrong, the further into Oct. we get the more the tears come. Whether it's a commercial, a Facebook post, a news story, even just the 'teaser' for a story has me in tears. Seasonal depression. I hate suffering from this disease. It comes from no where and seemingly makes no sense. It gets harder and harder to get outdoors despite the beauty of the day. My obligations are easy to blow off and it is so tempting to get others to fill my 'day' of volunteer work, but instead, since I know the days were hard to fill to begin with, I just pray I don't get called out. The tears come even when I yawn or wake up. I just manufacture more this time of the year and it doesn't take much for them to fall from my eyes. And so I vent. I wrote my Dr. on Tues. to address the situation with meds but haven't heard back from him by today, Fri. I need to start soon as I'm going out of town next week to see my kids after a month of isolation due to the Colorado floods and limited access to town. It will be good to see them again after such a long time but I hate the drive normally, now it will be twice as long to get there as usual. At least four hours which for me is a long drive. I can run numerous errands and be home in under an hour usually so to drive that long is something I just dread. Oh well, it will be worth it and I will stay for a few days. Maybe even four or five. Then make the trek back. Ughhhhh Well I've vented now so I'll close for now and wait for the doctor or his nurse to call me back. I'm sure he'll want to see me and that I dread. Why do I have to go in for the same old thing when all he has to do is call the pharmacy with a 'script? We do what we have to do to get better if even for just a season. Oh I hate this disease.